The No before the Yes
Maybe you’re like me. You have a sneaking suspicion that you should be doing something. And for about 3 seconds, you believe you can. And then a voice slithers in, whispering that you in fact cannot. That voice burrows its way so far in that you come to believe it’s your own voice. You come to believe that you have decided, no – I can’t do that. You might even search for evidence that this voice- this voice that you mistakenly believe to be your own- is right.
You might even go so far as to deny what those you love tell you …. if those things they tell you contradict the voice.
In short, you believe the ‘No.’ The ‘no’ that you think you have told yourself.
But do me a favor – no, do yourself a favor. Imagine for just a moment: what if that voice was not – is not- yours? Imagine carefully picking it out like weeds in a garden. Who are you without that voice, the one that insists that no you can’t?
You may have noticed that there have been no new words here in awhile. Believe me when I say I have plenty to share but I have made the mistake of listening to the ‘no.’ I have made the mistake of thinking that sharing what is at the heart of me might be … perhaps unwelcome, perhaps rejected.
But here’s where things change. Here’s where the no gets deleted and replaced with yes.
I’ve known God since I was a little girl. Funny thing about relationships, though – when you take the time to care, you end up learning more and more about those you love. You see aspects of their being that you never knew.
In the last year, I have seen God with new understanding and as a result, I see people with new understanding.
We are all broken. We are all hopeless, endlessly struggling to find something, anything to be our beacon. Maybe it’s money, maybe it’s politics, maybe it’s beauty.
But hope is the only thing that can lift us above our circumstance. The life that may be crumbling around us, or balancing precariously on uncertainty. The continual treadmill of trying to get ahead and not quite making it.
We all try to understand the variables in our life, searching for a formula, for a truth that will make sense of everything. Here is our common denominator: We were all created and that same Creator gave His life in place of ours. In Him, the only true hope shines on and on and on. When we realize that all our careful plans and attempts to control lead nowhere- when we recognize who God truly is and accept His grace, that hope shines in us.
Hope shuts down the ‘no’ voice. Hope cleans house until all that remains is your genuine self and God’s promise of love. And His promise is true – truer than anything you have ever known or will know.
By all outward appearance, I have absolutely nothing to complain about or reason to feel hopeless. But when has the cover ever conveyed the true story? My true story is one riddled with doubt, depression, anxiety and questioning why on earth am I here – what value am I? Maybe at some point, you’ve asked yourself the same questions.
Let me be very vulnerable and very clear – the only place I have found an answer is in Jesus.
If you too, have found the same answer, then maybe you’re like me. You have a sneaking suspicion that you should be doing something. For about 3 seconds, you listen to the echo of the voice that says you can’t. And then the hope shines and you embrace the possibility of what could be.
This hope is too good to keep to myself. Which is why this dormant blog is waking to life again. If you live constantly with the voice of ‘no,’ maybe, just maybe you will consider that it is not the last word. Maybe you will consider that it is the no before the yes – the yes that changes everything.